Understanding and embracing an autism diagnosis can be a transformative experience for both children and their families. For many parents, one of the most important—and sometimes daunting—steps is talking to their child about their diagnosis. This conversation can shape how your child sees themselves, how they relate to others, and how they navigate the world.
At SLCN, we believe that open, honest, and affirming communication is key to supporting neurodivergent children. In this post, we’ll explore why it’s important to talk to your child about their autism diagnosis, how to approach the conversation at different ages, and how to empower your child to take ownership of their identity.
Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference that affects how people experience the world, communicate, and interact. It’s not a disease or something to be “fixed”—it’s a natural variation in how brains work. When children understand their diagnosis in a positive and affirming way, it can:
Many parents wonder when the “right time” is to talk to their child about autism. The truth is, it’s never too early. Even young children can begin to understand that their brains work in unique ways.
Early conversations don’t need to be complex. They can be simple, gentle, and focused on strengths. For example:
“Your brain is amazing! It helps you notice things other people might miss. That’s part of what makes you autistic.”
Starting early helps normalize the idea of neurodiversity and builds a foundation for deeper conversations as your child grows.
Young children often understand the world through play, stories, and their special interests. You can use these tools to explain autism in relatable ways.
Tips:
Example conversation:
“You know how you love lining up your toy cars and watching them go? That’s something your brain really enjoys. It’s part of being autistic. Lots of people are autistic, and it just means their brains work a little differently.”
As children grow, they begin to ask more questions and seek deeper understanding. They may notice differences between themselves and their peers and want to know why.
Tips:
Example conversation:
“We’ve learned that you’re autistic. That means your brain works in a unique way. You might notice things other people don’t, or feel overwhelmed by loud sounds. That’s not bad—it’s just different. Lots of people are autistic, and it’s something to be proud of.”
Teenagers are developing their identity and independence. They may have complex feelings about their diagnosis, especially if they’ve only recently learned about it.
Tips:
Example conversation:
One of the most powerful ways to connect with your child is through their special interests. Autistic children often have deep passions—whether it’s trains, animals, video games, or space.
You can use these interests to explain autism in a way that feels familiar and affirming.
Examples:
This approach helps your child feel proud of their identity and see autism as a positive part of who they are.
One of the most important aspects of talking about autism is helping your child understand that their diagnosis is personal—and they have a say in who knows about it.
Why this matters:
Tips:
Example conversation:
“Being autistic is part of who you are, and it’s something to be proud of. But it’s also okay to choose who you tell. If you ever want help talking to a teacher or friend about it, I’m here to support you.”
Here are some questions your child might ask—and ways you can respond:
“Why am I autistic?”
“Everyone’s brain is different. Yours is autistic, which means it works in a unique and wonderful way.”
“Is autism bad?”
“Not at all. Autism isn’t bad—it’s just different. It comes with strengths and challenges, like everyone else.”
“Will I always be autistic?”
“Yes, autism is part of who you are. And that’s a good thing! You’ll keep learning and growing, just like everyone else.”
“Do other people know I’m autistic?”
“Some people might know, like your teacher or doctor, because it helps them support you. But you get to decide who else knows.”
Here are some helpful tools and resources to support your journey:
Talking to your autistic child about their diagnosis is not a one-time event—it’s an ongoing conversation. It’s a chance to build connection, foster understanding, and celebrate your child’s unique way of being in the world.
At SLCN, we’re here to support families on this journey. Whether your child is newly diagnosed or you’re revisiting the conversation as they grow, remember:
Let’s keep the conversation going—because every autistic child deserves to know they are valued, understood, and loved.
